Metal rules.
And King Diamond is metal personified: hard, heavy, fast, theatrical and Lurking In The Dark.
I've been a huge King Diamond fiend since the 7th Day Of July 1777. Back then, in those dark times of cassette tapes (circa 1988), Charon, Abigail, G-G-Grandma and I consumed King Diamond (and all metal) ravenously, like A Corpse Without Soul. Back then, album continuity was King, and whenever Diamond put out a new album, you put that shit on and you didn't stop listening 'til it was time to flip over to side two. King Diamond albums were conceptual masterpieces that were to be experienced and savoured. If you ever skipped through a King Diamond album, you got No Presents For Christmas.
Then CDs became mainstream, which made it incredibly simple to skip around an album and experience music in new ways. Not so crazy about a song? Skip it. Wanna hear a song again? No more Waiting through miles of tape to find that sweet spot. We were free to roam like a vagabond Gypsy. The age of modern music curation had begun.
Many years later, Apple's iTunes took the concept of music curation to its ultimate end by allowing us to rate, delete and even modify tracks by allowing people From The Other Side of the production console to set entry and exit points on their favourite songs.
But Apple's biggest contribution to reinventing how we experience music was with SHUFFLE. It's the modern day party mix tape.
Choosing to listen to a song, album or artist is a conscious effort, but when that decision-making process is removed, what's left? A lot of music that you're either not really in the mood for at this moment, or maybe this music isn't as awesome as you think it is. Ever find yourself skipping a lot when you're shuffling? Chances are, your brain is trying to tell you something.
I started shuffling with Trick Or Treat during Halloween of 2005. It was awesome to hear Celtic Frost, Enya and Mobb Deep in an endless stream of random. This new and seamless way of enjoying music was nothing short of exhilarating.
But I quickly noticed an Evil pattern of Omens. I had 280,000,000 songs on my iPod, and yet the same 128 songs kept coming up over and over and over again. And within that, there was a disproportionately high amount of King Diamond. In fact, about one in twenty tracks was a King Diamond/Mercyful Fate song. Talk about being The Uninvited Guest. This lack of randomness really pissed me off. Was this some kind of Conspiracy? Was I Doomed By The Living Dead? It got to the point where I was experiencing many Sleepless Nights and I began actively skipping King Diamond tracks every time one came up. In fact, I developed a strong distaste for KD.
Dr. Landau, Eastmann, Father Picard and I wanted King Diamond to Burn at The Trial.
"Do I even really like King Diamond?" I'd repeatedly ask myself.
<solo LaRoque>
<solo Blakk>
<solo LaRoque>
Well, yes. Yes I do.
It's Apple's shuffle algorithm I'm not too crazy about, cuz it turns out that the random really isn't that random. Lifehacker recently posted an article on how to clean up one's music collection. Included in the many suggestions are creating smart playlists to identify tracks with high skip counts or any other criteria you choose to set. While I haven't had much success with smart playlists yet, this whole ordeal has made me think more about what's going on Behind These Walls.
It has also made me realize it is time for Tea. That bloody tea.
Cuz all this bold talk of King Diamond song titles is making me wanna go To The Morgue and binge on all his albums.
Oh, Grandma...
I'M COMING HOME NOW!